Money Girl

He threw money at her like she was a cheap stripper.

She took the money anyway, because money is money.

She spent the money on online courses so she could finally educate herself – that’s a lie, she spent it on shoes and cheap cocaine.

When they met up, he would ask her to wear a certain outfit.  It was a short, silky skirt and sheer lace top with a cute cardigan.  Later, she found out the outfit belonged to his sister.

When they met up, he would buy everything.  He made a show of it.  All the most expensive items.

Back in his place, he expected her to let him hit her.  He expected her to pretend to like it.

Sometimes, she imagined taking the little statue of the Virgin Mary from next to his bed, and caving his skull in.  Smashing it into his pulpy head until all she could see was the top of his spine, peaking out of the red mush like a bewildered animal.

But he called her “Baby” and cuddled her afterwards, and there was the money, of course.


6 thoughts on “Money Girl

  1. Yes, it does work. My suggestion: open with a scene. She’s on her way to see him again, walking past … take your pick. Something that connects to another part of her, something that represents her longings.

    In that scene, throw the above in as the character’s thoughts. A mini-flash back. Then continue with the scene and hit us with whatever makes this meeting different. The inciting incident of your story.

    I would keep reading if the incident raised a good narrative question.

    Liked by 1 person

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